Supreme Leader Donald J. Trump has, by executive order, banned the cooking of, sale, and consumption of chicken tacos "throughout the known universe."

A Financial Times columnist now in protective custody in Rwanda wrote about Trump's ever-shifting tariff orders, calling them TACOS, short for Trump Always Chickens Out. Despite backing down and vastly reducing tariffs after being ridiculed by nations throughout the world for their initial massive, unrealistic, and illegal roll-out, Trump has claimed a great victory in that he is forcing every country to submit to his will and do his bidding to Make America Great Again.

In other news, Trump announced a complete pardon for Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Said the President: "This man has been a great inspiration to me and many others and has been treated very unfairly, like Myself, by the crazed Radical Left Wing media. We'll be inviting him to Merde a Lardo for lunch very soon.